You can sell your baseball cards just to pay your rent

My school does a "stop the bop" music torture device during its annual "Cancoming" fundraiser event. The concept being that they play a really annoying song during passing period, before school, and after school and will not stop playing it until a certain amount of money has been raised. I get the point, but I cannot deny how much I want to stuff my ears full of wax when it happens. My solution is to simply play the music on my laptop as loud as possible to drown it out (moderate success rate so far). The first song that came on when I tried this today is the starting point for my writing:



This song, "Capturing Moods" by Rilo Kiley, reminds me of a very specific time and place.

I was 19 years old and a sophomore at Mizzou. It was winter, and I was wearing my favorite winter outfit. Am I the only one that has one of these? It isn't the same now as it was then, but it was much more about the outerwear than my actual outfit. Brown peacoat, plaid brown scarf, brown/white stocking cap, jeans, snow boots. It was really all about that peacoat. It has long since worn itself out, is missing a button, and has a bright orange puff paint stain on it from one of those crafting nights I ended up going to at Brady Commons, but I still love it. I have a new coat I don't love as much (but, to be fair, it's warmer than the peacoat). I like peacoats because they are generous to a fat dude's body. Anyway, so I'm in that outfit. It's nighttime, and I'm walking out of Hudson Hall toward A&S to take a night test for one of my classes. As I'm walking, it starts snowing. It doesn't snow hard enough to make it slick (yet), but it is snowing hard enough to show up briefly as a fluffy reminder on the sleeve of my coat. While I walk, "Capturing Moods" comes on my CD player right as I get to Kuhlmann Court in front of A&S.

It was funny, though, because my mind instantly went there. Without choice. I was standing in my classroom trying to drown out the ravioli song, and in a moment I was a teenager again at Mizzou walking in falling snow. A good memory.

The point here being- what songs instantly take you to a very specific time and place? Describe it. It'll be fun.

You Wanted A Rant? I'll Show You A Rant: Music

As a lover of music, I'm always curious about the annual Grammy awards for no reason other than it gives a pulse to what is happening in current music. I was talking with a couple of students after school yesterday, and one them proposed the following interesting question: how do you teach someone to love music? I'm paraphrasing, but I was fascinated with the question. Looking at this year's Grammy nominees, perhaps, could be an excellent way to expose someone to music the industry itself is looking to as being excellent.
And then I saw the nominees.

For Album of the Year, generally considered the "biggie" of the night, our nominees are:
The Suburbs from Arcade Fire (obligatory alternative band)
Recovery from Eminem (Joetown's finest. Also, obligatory rap album)
Need You Now from Lady Antebellum (obligatory country album)
The Fame Monster from Lady Gaga (let's be fair- I love this album. The problem, though, is this album has all of eight songs on it)
Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

What? Katy Perry? Like... like really? I understand "California Girls" was catchy, and I'm certainly guilty of singing along to it in my car. But I have heard the rest of the album via youtube, and it's hardly worthy of best pop album, let alone album of the year. The song "Teenage Dream" itself is a ridiculous staccato-fest. I like to scream the chorus as folows:

YOU.
MAKE.
ME.
feellikei'mlivina
TEEN.
AGE.
DREAM.
thewayyouturnmeon...

And so on and so forth. Also, Katy Perry has a theme of having things shoot out of her breasts in her music videos. In "California Girls" (below) she has two whipped cream cannons as breasts.



In her latest video "Firework," she has (you guessed it) fireworks shooting out of her breasts:



Actually, "Firework" is the least offensive of her songs on the Teenage Dream album. I like it. The song "Peacock," however, makes me want to stab my own ears:





That's right, America, we've nominated an album with the above song on it for ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

So, aside from the Katy Perry album, the rest of the nominees aren't terribly offensive I guess. It's just predictable.

So the other big award for the night is Record of the Year, with nominees as follows:

"Nothin' On You" B.O.B. featuring Bruno Mars
"Love the Way You Lie" Eminem featuring Rihanna
"Fuck You" Cee-Lo
"Empire State of Mind" Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys
"Need You Now" Lady Antebellum

There's nothing on this list that inherently bothers me, and I'm most certainly pulling for Cee-Lo to win. I'm a little curious about how many of these songs are collaborations not for any negative reasons. Just an observation. I've not heard the entire Lady Antebellum album, but "Need You Now" was alright.

The real story here, though, is Robyn is nominated for Best Dance Song for this epic awesomeness:


I love this song (and album), alright? When I saw Robyn in concert this summer with Erika in New York, I pretty much fell in love with the music and Robyn herself as a performer.

Well, anyway, here are the rest of the nominees. Read 'em and weep. Literally. Because a lot of the best music isn't noticed. It's there, but we have to dig a little. The Grammy's were must-see TV for me when I was younger, but as an adult I apparently no longer like music the music industry likes. I'm being a little dramatic, but whatever. I was happy to see Mumford & Sons got a few nominations.

In less rant-y music related news, it's December. I love Christmas music. Here are my favorite Christmas songs. What are yours?


(he has a recorded version of this I much prefer)








(anything Sufjan Stevens has done for Christmas music makes me happy)

Help Save the National Writing Project and Prairie Lands Writing Project!

Hello friends,

I'm completely uninterested in a political debate about this. In fact, save yo' political comments for yo' momma(ments). See what I did there? Anyway-

Our government is voting on the Coburn Amendment very soon (Wednesday, perhaps?). This, which will undoubtedly be framed to us as the end of unnecessary earmarks, would completely end any and all earmarks that have ever happened in the history of ever (I'm not sure if this is a hyperbole or not). The bad part is that, technically, the National Writing Project and, therefore, the Prairie Lands Writing Project is an earmark from decades ago. The National Writing Project and its dozens upon dozens of local sites nationwide (including PLWP) provides fantastic and necessary professional development for teachers in the development of a passion for writing and, more importantly for you, the quality teaching of writing and developing that passion in students. NWP and PLWP have impacted, literally, thousands upon thousands of students nationwide. This would negatively impact our nation's students who are already negatively impacted by so so much.

PLWP personally reignited my own writing and has pushed me to be the best teacher and writer I can be. I developed friendships with fellow professionals who have positively impacted me personally and positively impacted my students through our collaboration. Moreover, hundreds of people across the country would lose jobs over this, including my friend Vickey's mother. Please call your senator TODAY and tell them to vote no on the Coburn Amendment.

Call Sen. Bond: (202) 224-5721
Call Sen. McCaskill: (202) 224-6154

Of course if you don't live in Missouri, please google your senator's office number and call them.

I called yesterday and was super surprised to find an actual person on the line. Fully expecting a machine, I stuttered and stumbled through a "ppppppplease vote no on that uhhhhh... Coburn Amendment thing." It probably wasn't that bad, but it wasn't good. I'm calling back today in full hopes of redeeming myself.

I'm going to make the following analogy to my senators today:

The government has decided we have a serious problem with forest fires. To solve this problem, they are deciding to eliminate every tree because then we could start over. It's the same thing here. Earmarks are a problem, so let's get rid of all of them while completely ignoring that some of them are for really excellent programs that help people and give people their livelihood.

Aaaaanyway, like I said, I am in no way interested in being political about this. I'm just looking to save a program that made me a better teacher, writer, and person and has done that same thing for thousands of teachers nationwide.

This is a cold war

I've been frantically looking at Creative Writing PhD programs.

Last night after coming home from school I called 16 different colleges- some close, some far. I only talked to one person out of the 15, leaving me with the fantastic impression that colleges are completely done by 5pm. Some apparently even done by four... or three. I called at least three schools in California, where it would have been about 2:30 when I called, and none of the English departments were available to talk to me. The only person I actually spoke to yesterday was a woman I appeared to completely confuse at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln. I did learn some important facts though. One- a PhD in Creative Writing at UNL does not require taking the GRE. In fact, neither of the masters degrees I've earned required the GRE either. I think it'd be a little funny if I had a PhD and had never taken the GRE. Two- it costs a lot of money, and they don't offer much other than "extremely competitive" fellowships. I got the impression I'd be admitted, offered no money, and drop out immediately. The woman was also sort of uncooperative. If anything, a little part of me would die if I became a husker anyway, so it just felt right to mentally cross UNL off my potential list. I'd contacted them to begin with because my building principal got her PhD online from them, but this lady let me know straight away that wouldn't be happening for me.

During my conference period this morning one of them called back- a very nice woman from the English department at Western Michigan University. She seemed, at first, to indicate WMU did not have a PhD for Creative Writing, but she had misunderstood me, and they totally do. She said the poetry program (the one I would try for if unable to find a school with a creative non-fiction program I could rock) was extremely competitive. I'm competitive about some aspects of life, and I could make myself be competitive for this if need be. Once we started talking, though, she pointed out that WMU has a PhD in English Education. My first thought was "absolutely not." I have absolutely no interest in earning a PhD that would require me to teach education courses. The woman stopped me, though, and said the program is specifically geared toward teaching English at colleges and wasn't affiliated with their College of Education. It intrigued me to the point that I think I'll email some professors in the program to see what it's all about. Also important- nearly every student in their grad program has complete tuition remission. That'd be awesome.

The moral of this story, though, is that I scoured the internet looking for an online Creative Writing PhD. There isn't one. And now that I've decided that I'm definitely going to do this sometime (what I generally call "getting a wild hair" about something), I've essentially decided I'm definitely going to move sometime. Western Michigan is in Kalamazoo, Michigan (which gets cool points for its name, frankly). The closest program I'm still considering is at Mizzou. The furthest is in Los Angeles. This could potentially be a big move at some point. An expensive move. I'm in the process of consolidating my student loans, and I'm worried they won't defer if I'm in grad school once consolidated. Bahhhhh it's a lot to think about. Just let it be known that I'm completing the steps moving ahead.

Step one- I need to learn a foreign language.

Motorin'

I haven't updated in several weeks. It's been a busy, unexpected, and sometimes sad few weeks. I admit I've been a bit down lately. I've certainly been very low energy. I come home from school most days to just watch TV or read. Incidentally, I've read 1.5 good books in the past two weeks, and as soon as I finish Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman, it will be 2.0. I've added them to my Amazon reccomendations.

I know I've just got to break out of this funk, but don't we all find that's easier to say than to actually do? I tell myself "go for a walk" or "clean up your kitchen so you'll stop going out to dinner every night and spending money you really shouldn't be spending," but then I go to Sonic and play my Xbox 360. And, really, let's not even get started about the Chiefs over the past two weeks. Geez.

I'm really starting to feel the impact of my aforementioned windowless world. I have had three dreams in the past week that involved me moving. I do love my apartment building, though. And although my rent is high, the free stuff I get more than makes up for the cost. I straight up fantasize about getting an apartment with windows, though. This winter might be tough without them. It might help if I made my apartment a little more "home-y" and less "that place where I crash after work-y." I think I'm going to invest in an honest to God Christmas tree this year. In the past when I had my much-missed puppy (another reason I think I've been down recently, but I digress), I didn't put a full size tree up because he'd try to eat it. I don't really have any space for a tree, but it might just go directly in the center of my living room/bedroom/kitchen/my apartment is a sad windowless studio.

I'm off to visit the apartment listings on craigslist to dream. Godspeed, readers.

It's Been A Long Time- I Shouldn't Have Left You Without A Dope Beat To Step To

Step to. Step to. Step to. Step to. *weird Timbaland noise*

I haven't update this in an embarrassingly long time. Sorry guys. I continue to receive excellent feedback from friends and family who read this, include my Aunt Karen and Grandma Johnson. Hi! I digress, however, because I have much to share:

1) I began No Shave November with blatant cheating. I got home from my parents' last night at about 9:30 and pretty much immediately went to bed. I then shaved... this morning. It's November. DEAR GOD I'M A CHEATER! No, but really, I am planning on skipping the shaving until December. And who knows? Maybe I look awesome with a full-on beard. Here's the Day One (or what I'm subsequently calling "The Day of Much Cheating") progress:

I forgot my ID in my car, I'm wearing a sweater for the first time this fall, and I'm flanked by student artwork. Yay! And the first of my "photo of the day entries.*

2) My family's annual Halloween Costume Contest was held this Saturday, and I'm sad my brilliant Tiger Woods costume didn't win (pictures to be added soon!). My father actually won- he dressed as a sexy Little Red Riding Hood. As I'm sure you can imagine, it was truly frightening. A real testament to the spirit of Halloween. My Uncle Steve was an oompa loompa, and it was awesome! More than anything, though, it was a really fun night. And I got to visit with friends Adam, Allison, and Amanda at the end of the night, where I had a lot of fun trying on the devil horns Amanda had clipped in her hair. 

3) Financial matters continue to be strong. I'm happy and proud of myself when it comes to how I handled my October finances. I know I could still be better, but the changes I've made bring me comfort that if something were to go haywire, I could use some money I have in savings. I think I mentioned it earlier, but it is my goal to not spend any of my paycheck this year on Christmas gifts, but instead using only money I've saved. And, oh by the way, I've saved over $600 in my account! I've ended up with extra money at the end of the past four months, and it continues to confirm for me I made the right decision to file for bankruptcy. I was in a really dark place for a few months both financially and emotionally. Looking back on the whole thing (and looking back at this blog too) were good reminders about how it felt to be financially drowning. I would have never guessed I would have ever been emotionally impacted by money, but lo and behold, there I was, especially in March of this past year, feeling buried and overwhelmed (true story- I spent several minutes after typing this looking on youtube for that clip from 10 Things I Hate About You when Bianca says, "I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?" and her friends says "I think you can in Europe." Couldn't find it). 

4) Big/Awesome news, readers. Two of my wonderful friends/colleagues (frolleagues? criends?) have presented me with yet another opportunity to visit my favorite travel destination, New York City. One has a friend who works for United Airlines and, apparently, can score us some pretty sweet Buddy Passes which will allow for crazy cheap travel. When I went to the City this summer my flight was easily the most expensive part of the trip. I probably spent about the same amount of my flight total on the rest of the trip, and that was with a small shopping spree at Macy's. They've also offered to buy my buddy pass for me if it is too expensive. Aside from being grateful that I have amazing friends, I feel like that's fairly even because, really, I'm the reason they have free lodging ;) Nah, I know they don't have to, but it means that December is going to be my biggest budgeting challenge thus far, as we are looking to going to NYC a few days before New Year's and heading back January 2nd. I can do it, though. I really can. What's interesting about the budgeting fun is that I can plan for trips like this and not have to immediately say no to them. I'm thankful for that. And I'm thankful for Erika who continues on letting me loiter in her apartment and, this time, is even allowing new guests. She's awesome. Truman Middle School's Most Likely To Succeed award winners FOREVER! :)

*From the poll a few entries ago, you all clearly want some rants from me. I'll work on 'em. I've got a sports fandom one bubbling up, and I'm sure I'll think of more :)

On Loss

Loss comes in different forms, and I, like everyone of course, have had my fair share of loss. There have been great-grandparents, my grandfather, and others whom I've lost to death, and friends whom I've lost to life. When I think of the greatest losses of my life, I have the aforementioned grandfather and, strangely enough, the loss of my mentor teacher from high school. She didn't die, but she lost my respect, and that's just as well. The point here being is this- no one is good at loss, and I think I'm particularly bad at it because I sometimes pretend it isn't there.

Since about five years ago three people (and, sadly, it may be more if I'm not remembering clearly) I went to elementary school with have died. Two of them have been, at one point or another, really close friends. Brian died in Afghanistan. I went to his funeral and the jerkoffs (is there a better name for them?) at Westboro "Baptist" Church (quotes added by me because, frankly, I was raised Baptist and am not cool with their association) protested. One shook a sign at my car that said "FAG ENABLER," which I found ridiculous and, embarrassingly enough, sort of funny. "FAG ENABLER?" It's true, I suppose. I allow homosexuals to be homosexuals. In any case, the funeral was beautiful and I wrote a poem about it that maybe I'll post sometime provided I locate it.

Last year Adam, who I wasn't really friends with, died. He committed suicide. It was a tragedy for sure, and it only highlighted one of the reasons I went into education- so people could feel like, even if no one cares for them at home, their English teacher does at school.

This weekend Austyn, a kid whose home I frequented for several years as a child, died. I am sketchy about the details, namely in that I don't really have any, but it is just one more to the list of people who I was once friends with who have since died. Does this not push us all to action? Does this not force us all to live our greatest possible lives? It is as easy to say as it is difficult to do. I'm not sure what living my greatest life looks like, but I know this provides motivation to figure out what the heck that is. Although Austyn and I hadn't been close in years, I grieve his loss. The visitation is tomorrow, and I will be stop by to pay my respects, but I wish I had more to say/do.

I whip my hair in at least two different directions...

Ladies and gentleman, I've paid all of my bills for this month and have money left over to buy my Halloween costume supplies. I sort of showed money who was boss this month, and as it turns out it is totally me. A slight surprise, however, was found in that I had TWO payment of $90+ to one student loan company who, adorably, had told me I only had one. Why do I need to make two payments to one company? Why don't they just combine them into one? I asked those questions too, and have yet to receive a sufficient response.

But even with that fun shock, I'm still totally good. What!

I'd also like to take a moment and post a link to my friend Amanda's blog. 

Not only is her blog fun, informative, and insightful, but she's doing a pretty awesome giveaway right now for Noodles & Company... mmmmmmmm.

Also I'd like to remind everyone to vote in my poll on the previous post about things you'd like to see on B&B- right now random rants are clearly a favorite. I'm able to do that. :)

I'm Burnin' Up!

I mentioned it briefly before, but about once a week I have a huge spike in traffic. I'm grateful for it. I am, however, a bit confused as to why.

It is always on this entry, with each of my others uniformly receiving a few views. The views are also almost exclusively from other countries. Over the past week, here are the numbers of readers I've had from different nations:

United States- 45
Brazil- 17
Japan- 15
Ukraine- 13
Canada- 11
South Korea- 7

And it goes on, but basically I'm a bit confused as to how they're finding my bloggity blog. Oh well, I will not look a gift horse in the mouth.

In terms of blog readership, I know I have a ton of loyal readers. And I love you guys. I am, however, interested in expanding my reader base, so I am taking a page out of the playbook once used by Michael Ian Black on his blog. I will look at google's most popular search items and mention them in this entry.

Ahem.

-Boy was I sure sad when I heard about the death of Minneapolis based singer/rapper Eyedea. I hadn't heard of him until today, but that totally blows anyway.

-I am sure nfl.com fantasy is an excellent place to place fantasy football. On that note of sports, I'm bitter in every way about the Chiefs game today. As much as I know it wasn't just one play, that ref who called pass interference on Brandon Flowers (this one not that one) can eat me.

-As a Mizzou fan, I was happy to see Jeremy Maclin did well today despite the DeSean Jackson injury.

-Eric LeGrand got a neck injury... a lot of these are clearly sports related.

-I keep seeing commercials for the Skyline movie on TV, and I have no interest whatsoever in seeing it. It's as if a movie produced said "let's combine District 9 and Transformers because those movies appeared to be profitable!"

-I am extremely concerned about Indiana unemployment as my friend Rachel lives there, and I want her to be employed.

-Many marathons were ran recently, like in Detroit. And Columbus. YEAH RUNNING.

Okay, that surely went really really well, guys.


Otherwise I was thinking of some ideas that I could do to spice things up around here. Let me know what you think of these ideas...

-Product reviews. See, we all value money, right? So I would review products and determine how valuable they are for the price we pay for them. Like the Magic Eraser (which really is pretty magical, but it doesn't last long enough).
-Vlogs or Podcasts. I'm not sure how to do a podcast, but I could probably figure it out. And I could probably figure out a vlog. Could be fun. And I would make it about money somehow, because this blog should be less about me and more about general topics.
-A completely random rant on occasion. Like an expanded "why the Chiefs got screwed" today moment. Or "why I love sweet tea." Or "why I wish I could directly communicate with the people who drive in front of me on 10th street in Joetown." That last one would be to remind them that the freaking speed limit is 30. Not 15. Not 6. It's 30.
-Photo of the day. I'd have to be super disciplined to remember to do this, but I'd listen to what my awesome readers wanted me to do. I'm pretty sure I'm going to participate in No Shave November, and that would provide ample opportunity for photos of the lower half of my face.
-Your ideas. Tell me. Teach me. GET OUT (your ideas that is. Get your ideas out of your brain)!

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Lusting

As of this past Friday, I have lived in my apartment for one year.

If you didn't know, I live in what's called an "Interior Studio Apartment" at Mitchell Park Plaza. Most apartments in the world have windows in them- mine included. However, my windows face an interior atrium covered in faux grass, metal grates, and a faux marble fountain that doesn't have water in it (I don't think so at least). I'm on the third floor of a six story building, so the metal grates don't really let much natural light in at all. During the summer, when the sun was at its strongest, I recieved approximately 15 minutes of natural light each afternoon arond 5:15. Now that the sun is starting to weaken, I have no more natural light. This wouldn't be all that bad if I didn't teach in a windowless classroom. My classroom is indeed air conditioned, but during the winter that doesn't matter so much. And most of my school year is winter-tastic.

The bottom line is, after a year, I'm a little tired of living in a world where I can't see what's outside. Now I'm fully aware that I could move. My studio apartment is what most would call expensive (especially for Joetown standards), and I could easily move someplace with more room with cheaper rent. And I have those student loan things I was talking about. But, here's the thing, I love my building. I love supporting the renovation of an old, abandoned building and turning it into something great in a downtrodden part of town. I love that my building has a kickass roof where I can host friends and have the absolute best view available in all of Joetown. I love having a convenience store on the first floor for my before school Pepsi needs. I love having my car parked in a safe, secure underground parking garage. I love, considering my past experiences, that my apartment does not have an outside entrance. I love that the carrot they dangle in front of me for not having "real" windows (there are two panes of glass, true, but, as mentioned, they face the inside) is not paying ANY utilities. None. No electric, no heat, no cable, no internet, no water, no trash. There's just too much positive about it to leave. I'm willing to pay a little more. And, as I mentioned in my last entry, I can afford it right now. It's close, but I can do it.

All of that being said, I positively yearn for being able to open a window on a day like today with highs in the 60s. I yearn to watch thunderstorms roll in. I yearn to watch snowfall from my living room. I am prepared to endure another year of non-windowed pain, but I'm not sure yet if I could do any more.

So, readers, imagine the lust in my eyes when I saw this Craigslist ad. It's in my building, and it is TWO ENTIRE BEDROOMS OF SPACE. There are two bathrooms (completely unnecessary for me). But still. Above all, it has WINDOWS. I could open them. I could do that. But it's a full $200 more than I'm currently paying for rent. But with all that space! Dilemma.

Not really, though. There's no way I can afford it now or in the future. The only thing I could do would be to find a roommate, and, frankly, that's scary. I had roommates in college who, thankfully, I got along with quite well. I haven't had one in my adult life, and I think the client base for roommates in St. Joe is not as rich as was in Columbia. I will have to seriously consider this, though, in the coming year. If I had a roommate in that situation, I'd pay $350 a month plus 1/2 of an electric bill. That would save me something like $100-$150 a month ultimately. And I'd have real windows. However, that deal is ridiculous. Most two bedroom apartments at my place are closer to $1000 a month.

In my dream world, an EXTERIOR studio opens up (they allegedly exist), and I move on in. I pay the same rent plus electric, and I have windows. A small but important sacrifice to see a thunderstorm.

Anyway- just dreaming of the future.