29 April 2010
I have also rewarded myself for pinching my pennies over the month of April. I don't own a DVD player, so I use my Xbox 360 as my primary DVD player. Last month the controller I had broke and died, so I'd been living without DVDs and my Netflix subscription for a month. I had money left over at the end of the month (I get paid tomorrow! Woo!), so I bought a replacement controller. A worthy investment, I think.
I've had really strange dreams for the past two nights. Two nights ago I dreamed I shot myself in the stomach. Like to kill or harm myself. I wandered into a strange building for awhile, then called my family for help. They said they'd help me by driving me to the hospital, but I'd have to wheel myself in. Then I was suddenly in a wheelchair. Once I wheeled myself through a labyrinthian hospital, I went to the desk to check in. The desk attendant was, why not, my 10th grade history teacher Charles Blakely. He would not let me check into the hospital. I then wheeled myself over to the waiting area and just sat, apparently waiting to die. The super weird part was, when I woke up, I had this horrible stomach ache. I'm not sure if I had the stomach ache in my sleep, and my brain conjured up this reason for it, or if I had that dream and, in the process, wretched my own stomach in pain. Either way... crazy.
Last night I dreamed I was teaching in my regular classroom, but the eastern wall of the classroom was gone, leaving it open to the hallway. My students (I'm assuming I was teaching a particular class period that is particularly... lovely...) would simply not settle down, and I was losing it at the front of the classroom. I was screaming, pulling out my hair, all that good stuff. When I finally got them settled down, a bunch of students came to the opening from the hallway and talked to them, and they got to going again. It was this intense feeling of hopelessness when I woke up. I pray that is not what happens in 7th hour today in the computer lab!
26 April 2010
22 April 2010
This evening I had the wonderful chance to do one of the best things about my job- creative writing club sponsor. We have creative writing club meetings once a month, and it's always wonderful. I have fantastic kids in the group, they are supremely talented (certainly in comparison to where I was as a writer at that time), and I'm so happy to get the chance to hang out with these awesome kids. This evening we met at Hazel's for coffee and writing fun, and while we were there, I saw one of my former bosses.
I have had two former bosses tell me I'd never make it as a teacher. One said it explicitly, and the other implied it through what she thought was a cleverly veiled insult. The boss I saw this evening was the second of those two, and she was, easily, the worst boss I ever worked for. It was the only job I was ever fired from, actually. It was over a single mistake I allegedly made. A mistake I actually don't think I made, but let's say I did. It would be ridiculous to fire me over a single mistake. This woman was looking for a reason to fire me because I had to leave work every day to go to class at the college. Something they knew when they hired me. She resented it like crazy. I had personal photos hanging on a bulletin board in my office, and when I was fired she ripped them off the bulletin board. Like ripped my pictures nearly in half. She was a monster.
I didn't notice her right away, but when I did, a small part of me smiled inside. I'm at a meeting for a club I sponsor that I love, doing a job you didn't think I could do, and being really freaking good at it. I'm freaking great at my job, and these kids are rock stars. You, ma'am, were wrong. And not much feels better than to be able to rub that in the face of someone who doubted you.
What I said to myself as I left Hazel's was something along the lines of, "Hey, you, former boss lady- fuck you. I'm fucking great at my job, and everyone at your office only kisses your ass because they need your money. By the way, I've followed my dreams, achieved my goals, and have almost anything I could ever ask for. Did I mention you should go fuck yourself? Because you should."
Not that I'd be bitter and resentful and harp on the past or anything. That's just not me.
19 April 2010
11 April 2010
08 April 2010
06 April 2010
1) I'm incredibly proud of my dad. Watching him work from my position was amazing to see- his heart was truly in the right place, and his desire to do the right thing was inspiring. What's all the more amazing is that over 5,000 people voted for my dad. This time last year there were probably hardly 100 people who knew my dad's name. It is a miracle that we got as much support as we did. It speaks to the quality of my dad's character. More importantly, my dad ran his campaign the right way. He followed the rules, he campaigned positively, and he did absolutely everything he could do make this city a better place to live. I'm happy for his effort, happy that so many people saw what my family sees in him all the time, and happy he is able to have the experience he had.
2) To all of you who told me you voted for him, put a sign in your yard, told your friends/family to vote for him, donated money- THANK YOU. We appreciate your support more than you know, and without you this experience would have never been as big as it was. I am genuinely in awe of your support. Thanks a million times.
3) St. Joseph... ahhhhh it's a unique place. A name can take you awfully far here. It's been that way as long as I remember. It makes me wonder if it's like that every place, or if other towns have voters that consider issues and experience over name recognition. Looking at the results, we were fighting an impossible battle. We did, literally, everything in our power to make my dad's qualifications clear, his experience supreme, and his name out there. With all of our efforts, we still fall short. It's hard not to be disappointed, saddened, and negative about the voting process. Like I mentioned in my last blog entry, sometimes bad times intensify what is good about life, and this situation certainly makes it clear that this win doesn't diminish how great things are for my family generally speaking. Our love is huge, our support is strong, our children are adorable. Hard to beat really.
To shortly address a big issue- I AM KEEPING MY CAR! A loan renewal was approved, and my monthly car payments will soon be HALF of what they were previously. I'll be saving approximately $200 a month, and words cannot explain how much of a difference that makes. I'm still waiting on the letter from Bank of America, but I'm so thankful for this current development.
It's been a long day/week/month/year, and things can, and will, go up from here.
05 April 2010
02 April 2010
01 April 2010
Yeah, it looks pretty good.
I headed to the credit union and, because I'm on this honesty kick, I told them everything about the bankruptcy upcoming. They were not interested in "getting involved" in a bankruptcy. I was pretty crushed. Before this year, I had never missed a payment on the car, and now it was looking more and more like the car was going to be taken from me. I went to my parents' house and talked to my dad about our options, and we decided to see if I could trade the car in for something with a better (a.k.a. lower) payment monthly.
For Joetowners, we went to Anderson Ford. For non-Joetowners, it's the biggest car place in town basically. I thought they would be most willing to work with my credit issues. The guy I talked to was incredibly nice and understanding, but they weren't going to work with me until the house was not on my credit anymore.
0 for 2.
Regrouping at home, taking some advice from my dad, my attourney, and the dude at Anderson Ford, I decided to call Suzuki and see if they could refinance the loan themselves. The guy I talked to was really nice, and I should find out tomorrow morning if it went through. If all goes as plan, my car payment will be lowered from $401 a month to $188 a month. That means I'll be paying on the car forever, but at this point, that monthly savings is worth it. I'm cautiously optimistic. If they don't agree to the refinancing, I'm in a serious bind about my transportation related issues. I'll cross that bridge only if need be. I'll be sure to update tomorrow with the result.
Tomorrow I'm grocery shopping on a budget. I've been introduced to the Poor Girl Eats Well blog thanks to my friend Amanda, and it has been an economical way for me to eat healthier. I'm looking forward to making the gnocchi and feta situation on there provided Wal Mart has frozen gnocchi. I figure, if worse comes to worse, it's probably good on any salad.