When I thought of this blog title, it immediately put the following song in my head:
I'm going to bet the $1,000,000 that this video won't work.
Edit: I've posted the video, and it totally works. Making this post a moot point because I've now given up my riches thanks to my failed video prediction.
The point here is what I would do with my life if true financial freedom were achieved to the point that money was no longer an issue- this would probably actually cost more than $1,000,000. But here would be my life plan if that happened:
-I'd, of course, pay off my student loans. That would be the most joyous check I've ever written. There would be tear stains on the check. Happy tear stains.
-I'd buy my parents and my sister's family both houses. And reliable cars. My family has always had this dream of having a family compound on the east side of town, complete with a gated entryway and private tennis court. I'd invite Maria Sharapova over to show me a thing or two. About tennis.
-I'd buy a historic building in downtown Joetown. In said building would be living space for me upstairs along with business space downstairs for the following: my mom's crafting, my dad's drumming (which is already an operating business looking for downtown retail space at a reasonable price- check out Drum Monkey!), my friend Amanda's vegangasm (or whatever we're going to end up calling that place) vegan bakery/restaurant/whatevs, and my independent movie theatre modeled after one of my favorite places- the Ragtag Theatre in Columbia, Missouri, and, my dream, a non-profit tutoring/writing center for kids modeled after what my not-actually-but-would-be-awesome-if-we-were BFF Dave Eggers, 826 Valencia. So I might need more than one building.
Edit: Much of this paragraph is grammatically repugnant.
-I'd make a sizeable donation to the SJSD that would involve nothing more than the English departments at the three high schools having a fund to use for buying things they need that are awesome and amazing for kids. No PD could be purchased with the money. In fact, I'd appoint my friend Vickey as head of deciding what can and cannot be bought with the money, as I trust her BS radar. Anyway- there would be a partnership between the SJSD and my 826 Valencia like place. It'll make sense once I have that awesome mon-ay (pronounced like M.I.A. does in "Paper Planes" of course).
-I'd make a sizeable donation to the University of Missouri because I've always wanted to have a building named after me. I'd donate to the College of Education, of course, and I would establish "The Brandon S. Haskey Center for Teachers Who Care About Kids and Not Test Scores" or something like that. I think that's a fair summary of the mission statement of my place.
-I'd have a summer home in New York City because, as we've established, I love that place.
-I would accomplish the following travel related dreams: seeing a baseball game at every MLB stadium (I've, sadly only been to three at this point: Kauffman Stadium, Citi Field, and Yankees Stadium (the new one). I could've said Busch Stadium, but they tore the old one down, so I haven't made it out to the new one yet), seeing the castles of Scotland (I actually have a ridiculous fantasy about how this would work- I'd travel by car to the countryside outside Edinburgh, sit in a field with too-tall grass on a blanket, and write poetry all day. Specifically, it's a cool day and I need a jacket.), seeing the art of Italy, going to Japan and listening to the entirety of Weezer's Pinkerton album, and several others that I can't think of off the top of my head. It's gonna be pretty sweet. As an aside- rumor has it Weezer is going to tour playing only songs from the blue album and Pinkerton- awesome.
-I'd take epic road trips with my friends. We're already planning a potential road trip for next summer... awww yeah!
-I'd donate to/start an organization about teen suicide prevention. Really just any suicide prevention. Maybe I'd incorporate it into my 826 Valencia location. I just heard about a woman who committed suicide yesterday who several of my family members knew and, in fact, had subsitute taught for me before. It's a tragedy, and it heightens the tragedy when no one talks about it. I want to make people talk about it. I'm 26 years old, and I know six people who have attempted suicide, three of whom were successful. And, to be fair, that six number is conservative because, thinking further, I know of a few others. I just have a passion for suicide prevention that I'd love to explore with these imaginary unlimited financial resources.
And a ton more. Listen, these are just dreams for now, but I'd love to make these things happen some day. What would you do with hypothetical millions of dollars?