30 July 2010

From The Bronx!

I leave for New York tomorrow! Here's my worst fear version of the trip:

-I'm too fat for my seat, so they make me buy two, and I'm left with no money for the trip.
-While in New York I'm mugged by this guy.
-My assumptions about being able to confidently navigate the city are dashed when I try to walk to SoHo from the only subway stop I know how to get to and end up swimming into the Atlantic somehow.
-My big toe falls off.
-I see suspicious behavior but fail to report it and am arrested.

Here's my most awesome version of the trip:

-I'm being stupid about the seat thing.
-The time spent outside 30 Rock pays off and I meet Tina Fey who is so taken by me that she invites me over for dinner and fun. And she leaves her husband for me. And pays my student loans.
-At the Kelis & Robyn concert (which I'm actually going to) I'm allowed to perform "Konichiwa Bitches" with Robyn and "Bossy" with Kelis.
-I meet some other random but awesome celebrity.
-I'm invited to Chelsea Clinton's wedding.
-While singing karaoke at Sing Sing, I'm discovered and allowed to release an album solely consisting of cover songs of the 80s and 90s.
-I win the New York lottery and buy a condo and spend my new life volunteering at 826 Valencia in New York.
-My apartment is cleaned while I'm gone.

A few other notes:

Watch this video:


And this one


I'll hopefully update from New York... and post a picture of my new haircut. IT IS SHORT. Well, shorter than I've had it in years. Bye, Joetown!


  1. All I have to say is, if you run into Tina Fey, YOU BETTER CALL ME AND PUT HER ON THE PHONE TO SAY HELLO.

    Also, those are the greatest videos on the internet. No doubt.

  2. I'm not going to lie...I watched that video with you dancing in the popcorn aisle at least 6 times. And have fun in New York! :)