From The Bronx!

I leave for New York tomorrow! Here's my worst fear version of the trip:

-I'm too fat for my seat, so they make me buy two, and I'm left with no money for the trip.
-While in New York I'm mugged by this guy.
-My assumptions about being able to confidently navigate the city are dashed when I try to walk to SoHo from the only subway stop I know how to get to and end up swimming into the Atlantic somehow.
-My big toe falls off.
-I see suspicious behavior but fail to report it and am arrested.

Here's my most awesome version of the trip:

-I'm being stupid about the seat thing.
-The time spent outside 30 Rock pays off and I meet Tina Fey who is so taken by me that she invites me over for dinner and fun. And she leaves her husband for me. And pays my student loans.
-At the Kelis & Robyn concert (which I'm actually going to) I'm allowed to perform "Konichiwa Bitches" with Robyn and "Bossy" with Kelis.
-I meet some other random but awesome celebrity.
-I'm invited to Chelsea Clinton's wedding.
-While singing karaoke at Sing Sing, I'm discovered and allowed to release an album solely consisting of cover songs of the 80s and 90s.
-I win the New York lottery and buy a condo and spend my new life volunteering at 826 Valencia in New York.
-My apartment is cleaned while I'm gone.

A few other notes:

Watch this video:

http://vimeo.com/13635738

And this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dz6Ujy9xZQ

I'll hopefully update from New York... and post a picture of my new haircut. IT IS SHORT. Well, shorter than I've had it in years. Bye, Joetown!