29 April 2010


I met with my attorney (praise be to God for getting corrected on that spelling. Really, I had been up at night openly weeping because I found out I spelled the word "attorney" wrong. Finally the tears can stop) on Tuesday, and the results were encouraging. He answered my questions, was calming and reassuring, and made the process feel much simpler than it might actually be. I was also required to complete credit counseling, something I will have to do again after I've filed. It was actually pretty painless, and the woman I talked with on the phone was very nice. I'm a little worried things are going too well with the whole thing and something is going to explode in my face. This in combination with end of the school year stress is bad for me. On the bright side, however, the collection phone calls are OVER! Hooooray!

I have also rewarded myself for pinching my pennies over the month of April. I don't own a DVD player, so I use my Xbox 360 as my primary DVD player. Last month the controller I had broke and died, so I'd been living without DVDs and my Netflix subscription for a month. I had money left over at the end of the month (I get paid tomorrow! Woo!), so I bought a replacement controller. A worthy investment, I think.

I've had really strange dreams for the past two nights. Two nights ago I dreamed I shot myself in the stomach. Like to kill or harm myself. I wandered into a strange building for awhile, then called my family for help. They said they'd help me by driving me to the hospital, but I'd have to wheel myself in. Then I was suddenly in a wheelchair. Once I wheeled myself through a labyrinthian hospital, I went to the desk to check in. The desk attendant was, why not, my 10th grade history teacher Charles Blakely. He would not let me check into the hospital. I then wheeled myself over to the waiting area and just sat, apparently waiting to die. The super weird part was, when I woke up, I had this horrible stomach ache. I'm not sure if I had the stomach ache in my sleep, and my brain conjured up this reason for it, or if I had that dream and, in the process, wretched my own stomach in pain. Either way... crazy.

Last night I dreamed I was teaching in my regular classroom, but the eastern wall of the classroom was gone, leaving it open to the hallway. My students (I'm assuming I was teaching a particular class period that is particularly... lovely...) would simply not settle down, and I was losing it at the front of the classroom. I was screaming, pulling out my hair, all that good stuff. When I finally got them settled down, a bunch of students came to the opening from the hallway and talked to them, and they got to going again. It was this intense feeling of hopelessness when I woke up. I pray that is not what happens in 7th hour today in the computer lab!

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